


Poems - The Collection

by Ursar



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 08:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ursar/pseuds/Ursar
Summary: I decided to put all of my poetry work online and together so that I can access it easily, store it, and perhaps get some feedback on it. The poems are either about love, or darker matters. Some are based on Dragon Age game series. They are all in chronological order from years 2012-2019 I think. if I recall.





	Poems - The Collection

Bittersweet

With a piece of pape I shall share my thoughts

As no human ears should ever hear them

To capture them, still my hand opts

How to, I do not know, or what then

Perhaps I should start by thanking you

Who was by my side, my most trusted friend

And the torturer about whom I didn’t have a clue

Still both those years and years were well spent

I see you, in my mind you‘ d raise your hands

In defense saying you‘ d never hurt me, why the harsh word?

Well, you see, that is where morality bends

You didn’t say what I would have heard

As a if you were a skilled master of the craft

You broke me piece by piece as porcelaine, which I was not

Or did you change me, or did you make me  - a draft?

Either way, the new sensation, it was by you brought

I couldn’t have thought you were capable

Should somebody not as blind enlighten me, I‘d laugh

Yet there was – is, an anomaly, palpable

You are not responsible for that in a mud I bth

I took in the beauty of what you offered

Albeit doing so so innocently unknowing

How could I not have been bothered

When I realized what was it, possessing?

Slowly, you lured me into a trap of my design

As if I wanted myself to get punished

Don’t think, of me, it would be bizzare

All my common sense have diminished

The bait was you, but you weren’t there, my prize

The deceive of it struch me as a lightining

Until then I didn’t realize there was, to pay, a price

But too lat, muzzled, I couldn’t free myself, or be biting

 

Dance of destruction

Burn me down like an empty house

Play with me lika a cat with a mouse

Just show some mercy, dont you lie

Never tell me you are mine

Until i tis true

And you thought it through

Til then I mustnot dance with you

But i showed you the dance floor

So step on me more and more

Wtch and learn the steps

In movement, your shape blends

Waltz in, dont waltz out

Instead try to think about

How the world looks maze-y

And how you drive me crazy

 

Onc upon a time

A warrior was mine

Although not a slave

He sumbitted, how brave

Or how foolish, I might say

That me he must obey

That I am his master

He should have ran fster

Away from a mage

As my or demons rage

is what might destroy

my warrior, that foolish boy

what good will muscles do

if I turn away from you

Til then, though, I submit too

What will we be? Not a clue

 

Tell me, what love is?

I do not know love might be

And dare not to speak of it yet

Does it enslave you or make feel free?

Does it break the rules or set?

Does it make you feel like an animal or noble of heart

Does it make you strnger even as you are drifting apart?

Does it make you laugh, or cry,

Is it your waking song and a lullaby?

Does it feel like a storm

Or as a sea peaceful and calm?

Does it throw you off a saddle like a horse

Or does it make things look better, even if worse?

Does it feel like something nw,

Or something you alw had, but never knew?

does iit make you want to protect and to fight,

but also freeze like a deer in a light way too bright?

Does it make you believe you could fly,

But never would, i fit meant saying bye?

Does it make you want to vreate memories,

But also content with a sun on your face and a breeze?

Does it make you desperate at times?

Does it seem blind to your tears, deaf to your cries?

Does it drken your mind in a terryfing way?

Does it make you feel trapped, a prey?

Does it make you lose your faith in gods?

Does it feel like your heart doesnt beat, just throbs?

Does it make you question the whole universe?

Does it feel too heavy, the burden it bears?

Is it worth it, I must ask, and let it be

Yes what you say, that you feel this love for me

 

feel like a puppet on strings

no ageny

emptiness

no reason to live

plenty to end this

and maybe take a few with me

bad decisions is what I am good at

distractions from the fact than I am not mine

that nothing might be real

I want to fight a different fight

like this, I don’t know

I might just give it up

and be at peace for once?

this reality is wrong

and it feels foreign on my skin

go away

I don’t want you

I hate you all

You have my permission to hurt me

Or I’ll do it

Because blood is such a pretty color

if I am broken anway

it will not make much difference?

Don’t say a thing

or I’ll turn this violence aganist you

my hand on your neck

you are pathetic

and I am weak

even as I take the life out of you

many have it wors

but they are people

I am… what

smoke?

nothing?

darkness?

shadow?

and I will choke the light out of you

because I can not bcome one

-

~~Adila woke and ran away~~

~~From the terrors, from the fray~~

~~Inside her mind, where demons were~~

~~It was not right, it wasn’t fair~~

~~She ran through the woods~~

~~The only thing that was good~~

~~Was her owl, like a loyal~~ hond

~~Flew with her, not a sound~~

Freached ~~Adila under her wings~~

~~So she flew over frozen springs~~

~~And hills of soil~~

~~That was not spoiled~~

~~By the darkness in her memory~~

~~The love, the hate, the treachery~~

~~Some time passed~~

~~Before one tear was last~~

~~Only a trail of salt~~

~~On the freezing cold~~

~~Of a pre-dawn purple sky~~

~~Where she sees the darkness die~~

~~She decided to stay a while~~

~~Walk another mile~~

~~Not let her people see her cry~~

~~That was not for their eye~~

~~As she went on, even as~~

~~she was in distress~~

~~Adila noticed a set of tracks~~

~~Somebody turned their backs~~

~~On where she~~ stood, ~~and followed~~

~~Somebody else – the hope was hollow~~

~~That she would be left alone~~

~~And she let out a soft moan~~

~~This~~ wasnt ~~her plan for the day~~

~~But she couldn’t believe these were astray~~

~~And indeed, not too far into a hunt~~

~~She heard a cry and then a grunt~~

~~As ran forward,~~ unsheating ~~her blade~~

~~Rushing to some stranger’s aid~~

~~This was a scene she saw: the pursuers all~~

~~Attacked one figure, slender and tall~~

~~And though they~~ greatyl ~~outnumbered them~~

~~Since the conflict did stem~~

~~The figure stood still~~

~~Like a mountain, or a hill~~

~~Unbowing to the onslaught~~

~~And that was all that caught~~

~~Her eye in the rush, as she too~~

~~Killed an attacker or two~~

~~And~~ wehn ~~all was said and done~~

~~The figure spun~~

~~And he spoke, at last:~~

~~„Here I thought this wouldn‘t come to pass.“~~

~~Adila froze for a beat~~

~~And so did her feet~~

~~To the ground, it would appear~~

~~„My love, do not fear~~

~~No more danger threatens you here,~~

~~With me – except~~ from ~~me, it would appear~~

~~But me being here has a reason~~

~~It is the~~ acnient ~~holiday season~~

~~I came to see you one last time~~

~~To make sure you were… fine“~~

~~Solas stopped short an arm’s reach~~

~~From her, careful not to breach~~

~~Adila did not care for that~~

~~Hard, hard she slapped~~

~~Her former lover~~

~~With all the power~~

~~Of the~~ heart ~~he broke~~

~~When he went rogue~~

~~„That was due for a long time now.~~

~~I am aware of breaking every vow~~

~~That I have given by my affection“~~

~~Adila remembered his rejection~~

~~and wanted to doubt his words~~

~~because just like swords~~

~~they hit her hard and went~~ thorugh

~~but still, his words, they rang true~~

~~„Who are these?“ Adila said~~

~~Not ready to face his eyes, so wild, so sad~~

~~And pointed to the bodies on the ground~~

~~„It appears they want me to be found,“~~

~~Solas answered, and grew pale. „Sit,“~~

~~Adila said, „you are~~ noty ~~et fit~~

~~to deal with such a fight~~

~~even with your all ancient might“~~

~~He obeyed her command and~~

~~Each other’s wounds they would mend~~

~~In the quiet of dawn~~

~~A wolf, and a fawn~~

~~Solas had her eyes on her, she knew~~

~~The feeling so old, so new~~

~~Rekindled in her heart –~~

~~Tale for a fucking bard!~~

~~Solas hissed as she pulled too tightly~~

~~And she smiled brightly~~

~~„For a god, it would seem,“~~

~~She all but beamed~~

~~„you are still enough of a man~~

~~To~~ sucucmb ~~to~~ a very ~~human pain.“~~

~~„Adila, do not torture me so~~

~~I did not want to be your foe.~~

~~It was not what I wanted, ever,~~

~~I just thought I was so clever~~

~~That I could not make mistakes.~~

~~Not you! I would do what it takes~~

~~To do what in my eyes is right~~

~~But your light shines far too bright~~

~~And I would not have walked away~~

~~If I bore the~~ tought ~~of you as the Dread Wolf’s prey!“~~

~~Adila stood still, her hands on his~~

~~Hearing his frustrated snarl or a hiss,~~

~~And she~~ swalloed ~~hard. „Then do not.~~

~~Forget your plan, your plot,~~

~~Stay with me. Be mine.“~~

~~They felt themselves crossing a line,~~

~~But then, he looked down. Her~~ ahnds ~~, clammy~~

~~Shook as he asked: „You would have me?“~~

~~„You took me~~

~~Even if you forsook me.~~

~~Dread Wolf or not,~~

~~You have tied the knot~~

~~Of our lives together~~

~~And you couldn’t have done any better~~

~~I would have~~ you, ~~if you must ask,~~

~~Just be true – take off the mask“~~

~~„ … for no other, but for you,~~

~~I swear to stay true.~~

~~I will find another way,~~

~~And never again walk away.~~

~~As a token of my love, ma~~ vhenan ~~,~~

~~I have brought you this canine.“~~

~~As he spoke, he reached in his pack~~

~~And took out~~ a a puppy ~~, the opposite of black~~

~~„Little white wolf, if you may,“~~

~~He smiled, as the pup began to play.~~

~~Adila shook her head, and in~~ hiss ~~bliss~~

 ~~He~~ jsut ~~suddenly felt her kiss.~~

~~„Lost without each other, we both are.~~

~~Never ever stray as far.“~~

~~He said, feeling his sight blur,~~

~~And petting the pup’s fur:~~

~~„I swear not to, and please see~~

~~That I do not intend to flee.~~

~~See the ribbon on his neck? Please,~~

~~Take it~~ beofre i tis ~~full of~~ fles ~~.~~

~~For there is one more thing – „~~

~~„Solas… why are you giving me a ring?“~~

Adila woke and ran away

From the terrors, from the fray

Inside her mind, where demons were

It was not right, it wasn’t fair

She ran through the woods

The only thing that was good

Was her owl, like a loyal hond

Flew with her, not a sound

Freached Adila under her wings

So she flew over frozen springs

And hills of soil

That was not spoiled

By the darkness in her memory

The love, the hate, the treachery

Some time passed

Before one tear was last

Only a trail of salt

On the freezing cold

Of a pre-dawn purple sky

Where she sees the darkness die

She decided to stay a while

Walk another mile

Not let her people see her cry

That was not for their eye

As she went on, even as

she was in distress

Adila noticed a set of tracks

Somebody turned their backs

On where she stood, and followed

Somebody else – the hope was hollow

That she would be left alone

And she let out a soft moan

This wasnt her plan for the day

But she couldn’t believe these were astray

And indeed, not too far into a hunt

She heard a cry and then a grunt

As ran forward, unsheating her blade

Rushing to some stranger’s aid

This was a scene she saw: the pursuers all

Attacked one figure, slender and tall

And though they greatyl outnumbered them

Since the conflict did stem

The figure stood still

Like a mountain, or a hill

Unbowing to the onslaught

And that was all that caught

Her eye in the rush, as she too

Killed an attacker or two

And wehn all was said and done

The figure spun

And he spoke, at last:

„Here I thought this wouldn‘t come to pass.“

Adila froze for a beat

And so did her feet

To the ground, it would appear

„My love, do not fear

No more danger threatens you here,

With me – except from me, it would appear

But me being here has a reason

It is the acnient holiday season

I came to see you one last time

To make sure you were… fine“

Solas stopped short an arm’s reach

From her, careful not to breach

Adila did not care for that

Hard, hard she slapped

Her former lover

With all the power

Of the heart he broke

When he went rogue

„That was due for a long time now.

I am aware of breaking every vow

That I have given by my affection“

Adila remembered his rejection

and wanted to doubt his words

because just like swords

they hit her hard and went thorugh

but still, his words, they rang true

„Who are these?“ Adila said

Not ready to face his eyes, so wild, so sad

And pointed to the bodies on the ground

„It appears they want me to be found,“

Solas answered, and grew pale. „Sit,“

Adila said, „you are noty et fit

to deal with such a fight

even with your all ancient might“

He obeyed her command and

Each other’s wounds they would mend

In the quiet of dawn

A wolf, and a fawn

Solas had her eyes on her, she knew

The feeling so old, so new

Rekindled in her heart –

Tale for a fucking bard!

Solas hissed as she pulled too tightly

And she smiled brightly

„For a god, it would seem,“

She all but beamed

„you are still enough of a man

To sucucmb to a very human pain.“

„Adila, do not torture me so

I did not want to be your foe.

It was not what I wanted, ever,

I just thought I was so clever

That I could not make mistakes.

Not you! I would do what it takes

To do what in my eyes is right

But your light shines far too bright

And I would not have walked away

If I bore the tought of you as the Dread Wolf’s prey!“

Adila stood still, her hands on his

Hearing his frustrated snarl or a hiss,

And she swalloed hard. „Then do not.

Forget your plan, your plot,

Stay with me. Be mine.“

They felt themselves crossing a line,

But then, he looked down. Her ahnds, clammy

Shook as he asked: „You would have me?“

„You took me

Even if you forsook me.

Dread Wolf or not,

You have tied the knot

Of our lives together

And you couldn’t have done any better

I would have you, if you must ask,

Just be true – take off the mask“

„ … for no other, but for you,

I swear to stay true.

I will find another way,

And never again walk away.

As a token of my love, ma vhenan,

I have brought you this canine.“

As he spoke, he reached in his pack

And took out a a puppy, the opposite of black

„Little white wolf, if you may,“

He smiled, as the pup began to play.

Adila shook her head, and in hiss bliss

He jsut suddenly felt her kiss.

„Lost without each other, we both are.

Never ever stray as far.“

He said, feeling his sight blur,

And petting the pup’s fur:

„I swear not to, and please see

That I do not intend to flee.

See the ribbon on his neck? Please,

Take it beofre i tis full of fles.

For there is one more thing – „

„Solas… why are you giving me a ring?“

-

Never good or bad enough

doesn’t seem like it - but it is rough

Never knowing what is true

Everytime the rules are nw

Never knowing who am I

Whether to live - whether to die

Never recalling what is passion

Having to be your own compassion

Never trusting other people

Your own mind unpreditable and feeble

Never knowing if you are good or bad

Counting the wounds that have bled

Never stopping yearning for love

but pushing away, acting tough

Barely holding yourself together

The sense of self light as a feather

The fear, the anger and frustration

It’s like a civil war - nation upon nation

Never-ending maze and endless spiral

of which any turn or curve might be final

But also - never giving up on you

Having a little faith that you will make it through

That is what it’s like for me

And of this all, I might never be truly free

And they think they can fight by me?

Truly believe they can ease this agony?

Or are they seeking my weakest spot

to deal another blow, a way to hurt and to exploit

That is how it has been

If I can trust what I have seen

In my memory, I see the rose

the petal and the thorns do not oppose

the reality of human life, which is that

what has hurt you is a threat

And who hurts you the most are of course

the ones you were keeping a little to close

The ones you allowed yourself to love

You stupid and naive girl, now I laugh

Go on with your life, this one is mine

And I will be fine. I will be fine

-

Doppelganger

Wearing soebody else’s skin

Walking in somebody else’s shoes

Foooling all the clos of kin

With nothing, having nothing to lose

I pretend and wear a mask

I dress up in that human costume

I fake an answer to every personal ask

Nobody knows yet that I have lost you

Piece by piece, in chunks of memories

you left, you left, you died

The memories of you, they freeze

They helped me when I lied

Sometimes, I gt sick of pretnding

I want to tear the skin and bite

But your ultimate undoing could be my ending

I shy away into shadows from the light

And when I drem I do drem of blood

How I could free it from you or me

How there could be a flood

How I could finally let them see

There is a truer face than the one on the surface

There is a part of me that wants to thrive

But that truth I fight to surpass

The fantasies are just what keeps me just live

 

In my mind, and my life

In my mind

there are hurricanes

not very kind

akin to beating with canes

except they are tearing apart

what is left of me

I stand my ground, play my part

on occasions, dive into one - an agony

only to be brought back

back to the start

one of these times, my last bone will crack

and I will fall apart  
-

The wolf, the dragon, the bear

 

the wolf is curled up into a ball

tail tucked, but ready to lash out

at any noise, no matter hw smll

jaws snapping, body spinning around

 

the dragon’s wings are spread open

only slightly, and scales are up like fur

the dragon will protect his hide, his den

claws and tail and wings a brown blur

 

the bear stalks the woods

shy and aloof in its shadows

if spooked, she rns loo se

or she stnds, she roars, does oppose  
-

 

empty child of void, empty

the stars and moon too fr

the darkness is so tempting

lonely like nothing ever was, lonely

do I even live I ask

or do I survive only

immense, my mind is, immense

and yet I know not

if my existence mkes snse

mask, no face, just a mask

if I knew what it was, I would go

and fulfil my task

rage, nothing but rage

remains still. That, and fear

and the bars of my cage

humanity, I can barely grasp. humanity

once twisted, once lost

to my insanity

sorrow and grief, but mainly sorrow

for for me, there’s no yesterdy

and no tomorrw

who am I, I ask, who?

where did I come from

what has sent me through?

love, or the lack of love

I once knw hw to smile

hw to cr, hw to laugh

nothing is left, nothing in me

do I stay, and can I

can I stay here and be free

 

-

dont whisper her name

dont touch what bears her mark

dont lok her in the eyes

shes the lady of the dark

-

hard-earned is the wisdom

that suffering has granted you

such torture by one's thoughts

is only bearable to few

not a blessing, I know you know

even when they say - that is life. it is how you grow

i see what i see and what they don't

this wisdom wont make you gentler, it wont

because some skin once it has scars

will only grow rougher the scars like bars

on a jail cell of the mind and the cage

wisdom only wont make one a sage

once they were hurt and once they were scared

but in reality, seem like they never cared

like pups of a beaten hound

the cruelty of teeth what they found

instead of a caress, a tongue warm

and this is it, this is how they were born

once their souls were set a fire

never told the consequences of it can be dire

of them not caring, one being denied a voice

then acting as if one has had a choice

as if they should not have brought a knife

to free the blod from under skin, to call life

the looking glass distorted reality

of their sick and twisted insanity

they call them a monster, murder, killer, beast

in sheeps clothing upon humanity feast

violence borns violence, and it is true

only few will grow up to be gentle, only few

and the rest will slently scream and draw blod

until there is a sea of red, vibrantly red flood

and they free it as they steal

a reality of whats not real


End file.
